If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
