you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
