I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize