Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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