And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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