All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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