Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
