My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
