Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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