I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize