I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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