i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize