I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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