Moan for me like Helen Keller
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
