He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
