I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
