plz talk dirty to me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
