I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
