In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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