the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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