yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
