So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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