you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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