somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
