I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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