Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
