Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
