explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
