I got chris browned last night
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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