I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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