one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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