Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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