That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
