I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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