omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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