Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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