I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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