I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am naked and annoyed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
