I must be too annoying 4 u.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
