if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
