We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
