i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
