We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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