it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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