I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
