dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
