Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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