my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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