sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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