She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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