she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.