that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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