it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
