She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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