you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
