I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
