Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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