I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
